It's been the 4th year already. But, I still see no signs of improvement. I hate progressing so slowly in things. And of course arguments between us during practice is not very good as well. I can imagine the steps, and what need to be done. I can describe too what needs to be done. But when it comes to actual dancing, I cannot apply what's running in my head to the moving muscles. And, I still can't solve the very serious problem in this, straightening my legs, and achieving grounded-ness in every step I take. I still cannot do spins properly, keep my posture upright. Sometimes, it is really frustrating. Frustrating because I never achieve something prominent in my life before. Piano, I'm only at the 7th Grade. Why don't I continue? Financial and time problem. Studies. I used to think I'm quite good until I came to Singapore. There are freaking a lot of brains that has way more capacity than I do. Furthermore, I can't really speak fluently. And now this, not going anywhere because I still feel like a beginner. Even some beginners can dance better than me! It's true that to improve at something, you must make certain sacrifices. To do this, it means time and some money. I would really love to pump in money if I have them. But this is quite impossible at the moment as at times, I will need to worry if I have enough to eat, to last me till my next pay, which is only a mere $200 odd. I would really love to spend more time too. But my grades are far too important for me. Maybe some people will say I am just giving excuses. But I always believe that you can only keep your interest when there is progression, a prominent one. And you have to have some good guidance as well. A teacher that is willing to teach and have patients. That's why, I secretly hope that someday, I will be able to touch the black and white keyboards again!
It's really been the 4th year already. I've did numerous performances and competitions. I really love them. Now watching the new batch of people coming in, I do feel happy for the club. I hope everybody will progress well. Friends who started with me are progressing really good too. Getting stronger and better everyday. I am really very proud for everyone:) But as for me, I don't see any point of continuing this seriously anymore. Sometimes, I just feel like letting go of everything as I just think maybe this is just not for me.
